Pulling a Story out of a Hat: Heta-Drabbles!
by ClairDeLaLuna
Summary: Just some drabbles, mostly cute or funny I should think, but some angsty. Plenty of Songfics, RusCan, FACE family, America and Canada being trolling bros to everyone, you know.. just a normal thing.
1. Words You Just Can't Say: Fox

**So, I actually got the drabble idea from going outside and staring at the stars (this will show up as a RusCan drabble later). Unfortunately, the one that decided to be made immediately was this one. This drabble is actually a compilation, so it's considerably longer than the other ones... also, I'M SORRY FOR THIS.**

**Title:** _Those words you just can't say..._**  
Characters: **_Pretty much all of them at one point. America, Canada, Norway, Denmark, South Korea, Russia,, Prussia, Germany, Romania... the others. You know._

**Rating:** _Probably around pg-13/T for swearing and some adult themes. Nothing major._  
**Details: **_There are certain words you shouldn't say around the nations... not unless you want random singing an dancing. Norway is the new addition to the "DO NOT SAY THESE WORDS" group, thanks to America._

_**Word 1: Fox**_

It wasn't often Matthew got to host a world meeting. It seemed only fitting, however, that the meeting was about wildlife preserves. He looked around the room and took a deep breath, nuzzling into Kumajirou for confidence. Hopefully he would stay visible long enough for this meeting... "O-Okay... is everyone here? Letsee, England, France, Nordics, Commonwealths..." Canada ran through his list, barely audible over the many conversations and arguments going on throughout the meeting hall. Luckily, America was there to help him out.

"Yo! Listen up, dudes and dudettes! This is my bro, Matty!" He said in his booming voice, smacking the (slightly taller) nation on his back. Matthew coughed and struggled to hold onto his papers, the smack nearly sending his glasses flying. Despite themselves, the conversations stopped as each nation paid attention to the super power nation. "Now, this is his first meeting –" 

"Huh? No it isn't." 

"And he's very nervous,"

"Al, you're wr-"

"SO! Be nice'n listen up! Oh!What if we brought Captain Planet to life? That would solve our problems, right Matty bro?"

Canada shoved the American off of him. "No, it wouldn't. I can take it from here, Alfred. Now, we need to deal with the rapid destruction of our natural resources. Because of a lack of natural habitats and over urbanization, the animals are venturing into the cities. This is neither healthy for the humans, who are being injured or developing diseases, nor the animals, as human food is not good for them. The animals I've noticed so far include raccoons, deer, bears, rabbits, foxes and so on." Upon the mention of foxes, however, the North American brothers both noticed a certain stoic Scandinavian country stiffen, and they gave each other matching grins. "Furthermore, too many elephants are being killed for their ivory in Africa, seals for their pelts in the Arctic an the fish are being over fished. Yes, America, you have a question?"

"Yeah, Matt, I have a question. What does the fox say?" He asked innocently, giving a completely straight faced expression as Prussia snickered and Norway growled angrily. Matthew grinned.

"What does that have to do with anything, America?" England asked, completely unaware of what was about to occur. He was ignored.

"That's a very good question, America. As you know, the dog goes 'woof', the cat goes 'meow', birdgoes 'tweet' and mouse goes 'squeak'." Canada explained, struggling to keep a straight face while Prussia continued to snicker in the background.

"Yeah! And cow goes 'moo', frog goes 'croak', and the elephant goes 'toot', right?" 

"right, and ducks say 'quack'."

"And fish go 'blub'"

Of course, by now the two nations had started to sing. Denmark and Prussia were laughing while Norway was glaring daggers as he tried desperately not to sing. Arthur and and Francis were too busy staring in confusion to argue with the other while the other commonwealths snickered, Australia finding the most enjoyment out of this.

"And the seal goes 'ow ow ow'!" The brothers harmonized with an evil grin. They both knew he wouldn't hold out much longer.

"But there's one sound that no one knows..." Canada sang gently, grinning as Norway stood up abruptly.

"WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY?" He sang loudly, unable to help himself any longer. America and Canada smirked triumphantly, while Iceland stared at his brother in shock. Prussia and Denmark were losing it.

England turned to France, "don't they yip?"

"Oui."

The sounds the fox made were graciously provided by two energetic American and Norwegian males, while the Canadian continued to ask the redundant question, giggling as they tried to out do each other.  
"Big blue eyes, pointy nose, chasing mice and digging holes."America sang happily. Norway joined in with the second part. "Tiny paws, up the hill, suddenly you're standing still..."

Matthew, with his tenor voice, joined in on the harmony. Arthur, who had been getting more and more alarmed with the sounds they claimed the fox made, couldn't help but admire their voices. "Your fur is red, so beautiful, like an angel in disguise." The two arctic blondes sang together as Alfred waited for his turn to join in. Frankly, this song wasn't made for three people, "but if you meet a friendly horse,"

"will you communicate with mo-o-o-o-orse? Mo-o-o-o-orse? Mo-o-o-o-orse" Canada sang.

Japan turned to Germany who, like his brother, found this amusing. It was a lot funnier when it wasn't the Germans and their sparkle parties that were being brought to public eye, it seemed. "How could a fox speak in morse, Germany-san?" Japan asked in confusion, though he, too, enjoyed the melody.

"How will you speak to that ho-o-o-o-orse? Ho-o-o-o-orse? Ho-o-o-o-orse?" Norway sang, taking the line after Canada while the North Americans joined for a triple harmony before the iconic,

"What does the fox say?!"

Once again, Arthur questioned his magic partner and former colonies as the American and former-Viking took turns making the outlandish noises, trying to out do each other as Canada instead on asking that inane question. Arthur had to admit that the three boys certainly had nice voice and harmonized beautifully, Norway taking the highest part, America the lowest and Canada, predictably, the middle.

"The secret of the fox, ancient mystery, somewhere deep in the woods, I know you're hiding. What is your sound, will we ever know? Will always be a mystery..."

Before long, however, the harmony was dropped as the North American boys dropped to backing vocals, allowing Norway to carry the embarrassingly high pitched melody on his own. "What do you say?" He sang, earning him so surprised looks from those that weren't stunned by the peculiar proceedings, surprised at his ability to hold such a high note and for so long. "You're my guardian angel, hiding in the woods, what is your sound? Will we ever know? I want to kn- I want to kn- I want to know!"

"waybaybedumbabaydum" The brothers finished off. There was a very long pause as Norway stared in disbelief at what the two Western nations had gotten him to do. His entire face went red in embarrassment. 

"I hate you all..." He grumbled angrily, stomping towards the door. As he stood in the doorway, watching America and Canada high five each other, he sent a withering look to America, despite the fact it had been Canada's fault. "Don't stop believing."

And he was gone. 

"Kesesesese!" Prussia laughed as he smacked Matthew on the back, wiping his eyes from laughing so hard, "Birdie, zhat was so awesome! Not as awesome as me, but pretty close!"

"What the bloody 'ell just happened?" England asked, bewildered as America started to sing Journey again for round two. Before long, Canada, Australia and Prussia had joined in.

France shrugged, "Je ne sais pas, mais... it sure was funny, non?"

Arthur just sighed and rubbed his temples.

* * *

**Sorry! Because this one was so long, the other words will be added in another chapter.**


	2. Words You Just Can't Say: Rasputin

_**Word 2: Rasputin**_

It wasn't often Russia and America could stand each other long enough to spend time together. It made sense, then, that the one rare time it happened, Canada had to bribe them with vodka and burgers, and take them to an American history museum. One would think that a history museum would be the _last_ place you'd see Alfred Franklin Jones but, in fact, it was one of his favourite pastimes. He loved going to museums and act as a guide, teaching his citizens the wonders of his passed. It was one thing all nations seemed to have in common.

"Holy crap, Al, why did I let you convince me to take you to this museum, of all places? Not only is it the Cold War museum, which is a dumb idea in itself here, but in_ Virginia?_ In the middle of summer, you want to go someplace even hotter? Maple, it's hot." Matthew groaned, pulling his white tee shirt away from his body and fanning himself. Ivan must have been dying, in his great-coat and scarf, though the only evidence of how warm he was getting was the flush of his cheeks and the sweat on his brow. Matthew bit his lip worriedly; he didn't want his boyfriend passing out from heat stroke.

Alfred, on the other hand, seemed completely at ease in his grey tank-top and black shorts. Matthew had to wonder if maybe he planned this. "Sorry, bro, but this is the only thing Ru- uh, Ivan and I have in common."

"That's not true at all. I mean, both Russia and the US were on the same side during world war 1 and 2, right?"

"Oh yeah, world war 1... isn't that when you had your revolution?"

Ivan frowned, looking at Alfred in surprise and slight pain. "You know about revolution?"

Alfred shrugged, turning to look at one of the exhibits in embarrassment, "yeah, well, we made a movie about it. We've made a few, actually, but I like the animated on the best. Anastasia. It's really sad what happened to them; Rasputin was an evil man. I mean, how could he do such a thing?"

Ivan furrowed his brows in confusion, glancing at America and Canada each. "What? Nyet. Rasputin didn't... he was a zealot, obsessed wit' the bible, but he did not harm the royal family. He loved them dearly, especially dear Anya." He sighed sadly, brought out of his reverie by a young teen tapping his arm gently.

"E-excuse me," she said shyly, tucking a piece of red hair behind an ear, "uhm, I don't mean to bother you but... I'm here with my family n' I was wonderin'... you seem to know a lot about Grigori Rasputin."

Ivan nodded warily, an eyebrow raised. Matthew glanced at Alfred as he began to hum a familiar tune, tapping against his thigh in seemingly random intervals.

"W-well, I was wonderin' if you could... teach me about him a li'l? I have to do a report on him for my class, y'see."

Ivan grinned a little, "da, I vill teach. What would you like to know? I am Ivan by the way."

"I'm Evangeline... uh, excuse me, but... why is he dancin'?" Ivan turned around to see America, amused by the way he was dancing. It seemed to be an attempt at one of the Russian dances; as his left leg kicked out, his right arm curled into his chest. He would hop, then change so it was reversed. Some attempt at cossack, maybe?

Matthew groaned, "Not that... please."

"There lived a certain man in Russia long ago," Alfred sang happily as Ivan stared in confusion. Before long, however, he began to recognize the song and grinned. Evangeline seemed alarmed; sure, she probably knew the song (who didn't?) but unless one lives in a musical, you don't expect to have grown men start singing randomly in a Cold War museum. "He was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow." Alfred continued, grabbing Ivan's arm to show his muscle under his coat before pointing at the mauve eyes.

"Alfred, stop that." Matthew rolled his eyes.

"Most people looked at him with terror and with fear," Ivan added hesitantly, struggling to remember the lyrics. Alfred grinned encouragingly.

"But to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear." Alfred sang louder, shoving his younger brother into Ivan, who wrapped his arms around him instinctively. Matthew blushed scarlet.

"I'm not a girl!"

"He could preach the bible like a preacher, full of ecstacy and fire." Ivan sang, dancing a little as he continued to hold his Canadian boyfriend. Matthew blushed further, unwilling to admit that he enjoyed the sound of his deep voice.

"But he also was the kind of teacher women would desire." Alfred grinned and winked at the bewildered teen, nodding towards the couple with a smirk.

"Alfred!"

"RA RA RASPUTIN, lover of the Russian queen." Ivan sang with distaste, clearly not agreeing with the historical inaccuracy. Rasputin had never touched his Queen... had he? How much did he know about Rasputin, really?

"There was a cat that really was gone." Matthew added, muffled by the Russian's chest.

"RA RA RASPUTIN, Russia's greatest love machine." Alfred laughed, watching as Ivan groped Matthew.

He squeaked and slapped him in the chest. "Ivan! We're in public!"

"It was a shame how he carried on." Ivan winked towards the ever-scarlet teen.

"He ruled the Russian land and never mind the czar,"

"But the kasachok he danced really wunderbar, "

"Alfred, wunderbar is German..."

"In all affairs of state he was the man to please,"

"But he was real great when he had a girl to squeeze." Alfred grinned, pushing the escaping Canadian back into Ivan's arms for a big hug. Matthew gasped, struggling to breathe.

"For the queen he was no wheeler dealer, though she'd heard the things he'd done."

"L-let me go!"

"She believed he was a holy healer, who would heal her son."

"Oh for God's sake, Ivan, I'm not a baby. Put me down."

"But when his drinking," Ivan took that moment to drink from his vodka and force some down the struggling Canadian's throat, "and lusting"

"IVAN! NOT IN PUBLIC! You're gonna get us kicked ou- oh..."

Ivan smirked, "and his hunger for power became known to more and more people, the demands to do something about this outrageous man became louder and louder."

"Okay dude, it's time to stop that. I really don't want to see you molest my brother, and I'm pretty sure this girl doesn't want to either.

Ivan pouted and put the flushed Canadian down, "fine."

Matthew tried to hide his little whine as he attempted to fix his shirt and hair, covering his neck in embarrassment.

""This man's just got to go!" declared his enemies, but the ladies begged "Don't you try to do it, please"" Ivan sang, continuing the song.

"No doubt this Rasputin had lots of hidden charms, though he was a brute they just fell into his arms."

"Hey! Alfred! You tripped me! That's not fair."

"I'm not a brute..."

"Hey, it's just the song."

"Then one night some men of higher standing set a trap, they're not to blame." Ivan sang self consciously, poking at his stomach. Matthew sighed and kissed his cheek.

"Don't worry about it, Vanya, it meant nothing."

"He poked my stomach!"

"Come to visit us" they kept demanding and he really came." Alfred grinned, continuing the song. "RA RA RASPUTIN, lover of the Russian queen."

"They put some poison into his wine." Matthew sighed.

"RA RA RASPUTIN, Russia's greatest love machine." Ivan grinned, squeezing Matthew's rear once more. He couldn't help it – his squeak and blush was adorable.

"He drank it all and said "I feel fine."" Alfred sang. Ivan tried to force the vodka down the Canadian's throat again.

"N-no! I can only drink the ma- gack!"

"RA RA RASPUTIN, lover of the Russian queen, they didn't quit, they wanted his head."

"RA RA RASPUTIN, Russia's greatest love machine and so they shot him till he was dead."

"Actually, Comrade Am-Alfred, he wasn't killed until he was drowned. He was poisoned, shot, and drowned. He died on my birthday, sadly."

"Oh, those Russians..."

With that, the song was finished. Evangeline clapped and laughed, "You guys should do a show or somethin'. That was hilarious, anyways, I gotta go now. Bye!" She continued laughing, even as she ran after her family. Shortly after, an older male approached them with a disapproving look in his eye.

"Ahh, Alfred. Why am I not surprised? I'm goin' to have to kick you out again, old friend. You know th' rules."

America laughed but nodded, "Yeah, yeah. Nice to see you again, Gerald. Say hi to Nancy and the kids for me, yeah?" He led his brother and his brother's boyfriend out of the museum, one sulking the other giggling in amusement.

"Kick you out 'again' Alfred? How many time have you been kicked out of there?"

"Ahhhh... I've lost count, actually."

Gerald smiled as he watched them leave. "Oh, those Nations..." And, as he walked back to his station, he couldn't help but hum the song under his breath.

* * *

**I've got plenty more of these things, but I might need to take a break. And yes, each song is gonna get their own chapter, I've decided.**


End file.
